A Library Full of Treasures

The people who love you don't ask you to become less yourself.

I’m reading a book called “When the World Fell Silent” by Donna Jones Alward. It’s about two different women in Halifax at the time of the explosion in 1917. I’m about halfway through. It’s hard to put down but I need to sleep more than I need to finish it right now LOL.

I love books. I buy more books regularly (I bought three more yesterday) even when I’ll never read all of them on my shelf. Books and talking about books bring me a lot of joy.

When I was young, I loved to read. In fact, I’d get in trouble for reading at night when I should have been asleep. I loved summer because it was light outside until very late and I could sneak reading time - squinting until there was no more natural light to read by and I’d eventually have to close my book

It was always a treat to go to the bookstore when the kids were small. Everyone found a treasure or two. Even when we really couldn’t afford it, we’d spend money on books.

It always broke my heart to declutter books from our home. I never wanted to part with them but my ex complained about the space they took up and asked me to get rid of them.

A few times he (jokingly??) would threaten to get rid of my Nancy Drew books. Those were lovingly given to me when I was very young and made me the reader I am today. Thankfully he never did, but even saying it was really ugly.

Slowly, I’m rebuilding my collection. I have several versions of my favorites. I have books that are just “pretty” and collectible that I’ve read before. No one will ever have permission to make me do anything with them again.

Books are just things. Reading is just a hobby. But for me, it is so much more than that. Looking back, I realize he understood exactly what mattered to me. Instead of protecting it, he sometimes used it against me. My friends would never do that to me. That is the difference between someone who truly cares about you and someone who doesn’t.

A person who loves you supports you but doesn’t enable you. A “true love” person would help you let go of books that don’t bring you joy anymore and help you display the others beautifully. They understand why you cry over all those books that you shared with your littles that are falling apart and you have to let them go. She takes you to a favorite book store and spots “Pride and Prejudice in Space” before you do and just puts it in your hand because she knows you will have to have it.

One thing I’ve learned is this: people who genuinely love you don’t make a habit of diminishing the things that bring you joy. Maybe accidentally, but then they’re quick to apologize and fix it. I don’t recall having any of my close friends having to say to me, “It was just a joke!” after they’ve hurt my feelings. I can’t say the same about my ex. I can’t even recall them hurting my feelings in the first place.

Curate and collect your people like you do your books. Fine-tune and catalog relationships and who you allow to take up space on your shelf. You deserve a library full of treasures.