Gambler

A package was delivered to my house yesterday. I have been thinking about buying this for quite a while. Was it something I really needed? Not really. Not in the NEED sense. Was it something that would bring me joy? Definitely. I have lots of other ones, so why this one? Why did the thought of having one keep popping into my head? It just wouldn't go away. So, a few weeks ago, I managed to locate one - in Canada, that was very important to me. And I bought it. It looked good and I wanted it. It arrived yesterday and I am so happy about it.

What is it? It's the board game Gambler from 1975. It is in better condition than I thought it would be and there's only the one 'man' missing that I knew would be missing. A vintage board game? And this one is kind of an obscure one too. Why this one? Why now? That brings us to this story :)

Four kids, many Christmas mornings. Whispers and ultra-quiet as we would meet in my room. My room that had the stash of board games. Really early, and we were desperate not to wake our parents. Sure, we'd checked out the wrapped presents under the tree, but then we snuck back downstairs to my room. Let the games begin.

We loved board games growing up. I'm sure many of you were the same. It was the thing to do back then. Life, Clue, Monopoly and Pay Day were staples for sure. We played them all. The one I really liked was Gambler. A board game where you paid money and bet on the dice rolling out of the strange rattle-like dice rolling contraption.

Ours is still at my Dad & Mom's house. It has been played so much that it is worn out. The dice-rolling thing has split open - 1970's plastic handled that many times just can't keep going. The box has a lot of brittle masking tape holding it together. Every piece of money is dog-eared from years of little hands "Placing bets and taking chances."

I loved that game. I loved how we would quietly shake the dice on Christmas morning so that we wouldn't wake our parents. I'm sure they heard us but just let us be us. We played so many games together over the years. We bonded over them and fought over them. There was 'table-flipping' and occasional cheating and every lesson learned was a good one.

Gambler - everything is chance in that game. No skill involved. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. It just depends on those dice rolls and your best guess of what the roll would be.

I gambled that I would be a doctor someday. I had plans and ideas of what my life would look like. God laughed at me and made me a Mom - a job I'm way better at than if I'd been a doctor. This, I know to be true.

I gambled that I would be able to 'fix' that tall Italian that I was madly in love with. I would be able to help him love me the way I loved him. Once again, 25 years later, God laughed at me and helped me understand that this man could not give me that kind of love; that I had to learn to give it to MYSELF.

I gambled when I left the pension job and all the perks to try to figure out where I fit in the world. I tried new things and made a lot of mistakes. And God laughed and put me right back into that pension job, but this time I am grown and this time I know my worth and I'm in the right place at the right time.

I have gambled in lots of ways over my almost 56 years. Isn't life a gamble, really? It's a gamble and complete chance that we are even conceived. It's a chance that we live and breathe to reach 56. Many do not. Many of us hit rock bottom and never come up. My heart aches for those who struggle. I recognize my privilege of where I live and how I grew up. I am indeed one of the lucky ones.

Now, I try to live my days as a gamble. I gamble to say hello to a stranger who just may become a new friend. I gamble to learn something new about investing so that I can retire. I gamble to drive to my parents' home so that I can spend time with them. I gamble to send a sappy text to my children so that they can roll their eyes, but know they are loved. I gamble to give my very large heart to my friends because when I tell them I love them, I actually mean it.

I gambled that a stranger on the internet would take my money and actually send me an old game that I loved. And there it was on my door step. Every single day we gamble that we will wake up in the morning.

Today, I am grateful that I got out of bed and that I went to work and that I have a computer to type this little love note on. I gamble that you will read this and remember something or someone that you loved and be grateful that your gamble paid off.