We were sitting around a campfire tonight and I remembered how you insisted on sitting around there with us when we'd have our summer campouts. You'd be bundled up in your blankets, likely freezing cold, but you didn't want to miss a single moment. Times around the family campfire were the best times, weren't they? Gramma loved camping at the farm.
I was talking to my Mom yesterday. I am so grateful that my kids know my mom and dad like I knew my grandparents. I remember so many times growing up that included them. Birthdays, anniversaries, all the special occasions, of course. But also those summer days in the river when Granny Lewis would jump in the at the end of day. I remember playing ball in the yard with Grandpa Lewis; I remember him teasing and cheating to get around those bases. My mom still has a picture of Grandpa Black playing dress up with my baby sister. Times that us big kids would watch 'wrassling' with him. My parents have done the same for their grandkids. I'm sure they each have a memory or two with Gramma and Papa. I hope they remember as I do.
This song makes me miss my Gramma so much. She wasn't my Gramma by blood, but she was my Gramma the most. I think of her so often still, even though she's been gone for way too long. She and I have a special bond. Gramma knew my secrets. Turned out that she understood me more than anyone else could. She never made me feel less than. She made me believe I could do anything. I never felt like I'd disappointed her.
I didn't make time often enough, but sometimes I would go and let her make lunch for me. I made lasagna and shared it with her after she admitted how much she loved it. I was holding her hand, reading the bible to her as she left this world. I will never forget the last moments with this special lady.
She and I spent some time sewing and talking about how things used to be. I asked for advice and she gave it, but never made me feel like I was doing the wrong things, even though, looking back, I'm sure she could have steered me in a better direction. Every invitation, she was there, even when I'm sure it was so loud and exhausting around all those kids. Gramma went anyway.
With all my heart, I hope I am half the Gramma that mine was. I love my kids and my grandsons so very much. I understand now why she was like that with us; with me. The grandparent bond is a special one. My boys think I'm weird and that's ok with me. I want them to remember those crazy moments with me like I remember all the times with my Gramma.
In forty years, I want them to be sitting around a fire with a friend, telling stories about a lady who has a very place in their heart. How their Gramma helped them become the person they are. I want their life to be full of memories of the person who loved them no matter what. Who was their number one fan in everything they did.
When they hold a picture of me, I want them to be able to say, "You held nothing back, gave everything. You loved me that way"
